You're so nebulous sometimes
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
