Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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