Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
