He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
