I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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