So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
