I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
