i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
