Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
