Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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