we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
