new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize