Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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