having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
