is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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