saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
