You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
