I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
