Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
well you can't waste a boner
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
