Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
