I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
