I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
