In the future we'll all be gay
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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