i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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