You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
