this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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