Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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