I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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