I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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