ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
