Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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