now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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