we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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