Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
