VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
