Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
