Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
