i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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