whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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