Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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