Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
