Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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