Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
