drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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