Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
