my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
