it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
