i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
