Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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