i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Randomize
