thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
