Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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