thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
