How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
