Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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