Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
