Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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