Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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