your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
