LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just gift wrapped bread.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
