he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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