you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
