I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
