Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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