Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
