he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wish i was in the wii world.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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