You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
